Friday, September 21, 2012

I Fucking Hate Facebook!

Okay, let me clarify something. I've never really been a fan of social networking sites in the first place, but I have my reasons for that. One good reason is  because it allowed a terrible stalker to harass me along with my horrible ex-boyfriend. It first began with Myspace which I didn't really have any problems with for a while until everybody and their fucking mother switched over to Facebook.



I HATE FACEBOOK! I don't like the way it looks, I don't like how fascist their rules and methods are, and it is just completely overrated! So when I was recently checking my PM's on Edenfantasys.com, I got asked if I had a Facebook page, in which I said I didn't. I was informed that you get tons of benefits from having a Facebook page and liking Edenfantasys products, so I considered making one for a while. I finally broke down and made a facebook page. I was immediately turned off that it wanted to know just about EVERYTHING about me. I am actually a very private person. I come from a very religious and conservative background over here, and I can't afford to have my relatives and acquaintances know about my sex toy reviewing. It would be absolutely devastating for me to do so and would pretty much humiliate and disappoint my family.

I went ahead and used my nickname for the site, which it finally decided to freaking accept. So, I liked EF's facebook page and a few products, only to be IMMEDIATELY banned for spamming. I did not know why or how I was spamming! I liked about 10 things and it banned my account for 30 days. I've tried contacting the incompetent twats at Facebook and they don't give me any response. I read their shitty policies and realized just how fucking G-rated Facebook is. Why would they allow a sex toy site to post stuff about sex toys on their page, but I can't even like any of the products from there without getting banned?! I just don't understand it. If any of my readers have an answer about this, or just a random passerby who can actually deal with facebook knows something, please message me. I really want to know what the Hell is going on with that shitty ass site!

I guess the moral of this story is don't buy into peer pressure because it sucks. I should have continued to avoid Facebook like the plague it is!

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Struggling to Write Reviews

I've been struggling as of late to dish out my sex toy reviews. It's not that I procrastinate or that I get distracted by other things; it is solely because of my illness and the side effects of the many medicines I have to take everyday.


When I write reviews, it takes me a long time because I strive for perfection. I want to make the most informative review that I possibly can, so that I can get "extremely useful" ratings for my reviews. I take pride in my work and I want to be at 100% when I write them. When I am having a severe pain episode, which has almost been a daily thing lately, I can hardly even breathe, so writing a damn good review is out of the question. Since I am on heavy-duty painkillers (Fentanyl trans-dermal patches and Norco opiate/narcotics), I tend to have a lot of mental slow-down and drowsiness as side-effects. I've tried writing reviews while I was under the influence of my meds, but it did not turn out well...Not one bit. I didn't turn my review into my mentor at the time because it was so incoherent. My thoughts jumped from one place to another, words were horribly misspelled and I could hardly understand anything that was written. I saw the results once I was sober and cried. All I want to do is get my reviews out quickly in a timely manner but my health isn't making that possible.

I get so frustrated and jealous when I go on Edenfantasys.com sometimes because writing reviews seems so easy to everyone else. They can publish multiple reviews daily or just about every other day, while it takes me damn months to get anything done correctly. Not to mention, my rank recently decreased by .1 which doesn't seem like a lot, but it meant a lot to me to earn that .1 point. I couldn't help that I was in and out of the hospital. I didn't think my rank would have dropped so damn quickly, but it did. I've become more active, but my rank still remains at 5.4. It really breaks my heart and makes me feel like a failure sometimes. I wish I could write reviews quickly and be more active, but I just can't write them now while I am still trying to recover. I've been working on some for quite some time now, but they still aren't at my standards yet.

My disability is really getting in the way of something I am passionate about doing, and it is causing me so much depression and stress. I just wish my pain would subside, so that I can focus on writing excellent reviews.

You might be thinking that since I am writing this, I could write the reviews easily, well, you are definitely wrong. Writing extremely useful reviews is not like writing about whatever the Hell you want and whatever is on your mind at the moment. You have to do proper research, get correct measurements, list ingredients, if you are reviewing a bath product, etc., and know what those ingredients truly are (whether they are vegan approved, or unhealthy for people with sensitive skin) and the list goes on. It isn't simple and it takes a lot of focusing in order to do it correctly.

All I can do is pray that my situation changes so that I can dish out reviews and get rid of the burden that has been plaguing me. If you're reading this, wish me luck, because I need a lot of it right now.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Breaking News: I'm No Longer a Single Submissive!

Yes, you did read the title correctly! If you kept up with me on Edenfantasys.com, you'd notice that I would constantly bitch about being miserable, lonely and single. Well, that isn't necessarily the case right now. In fact, things are quite different for me in the relationship department.

For a few months, members of the Edenfantasys forum directed me to FetLife, a social networking site made by kinksters and for kinksters. I finally got the balls to join the site, and I immediately got messaged by lots of Doms and Masters. I'm not a slave, so I kindly declined the Masters' invitations, but one of the very first people that messaged me was a wonderful Dominant. He was very open and up-front to me. He told me he was married, has children, and is in an open polyamorous relationship. I was pretty taken aback by this. I knew nothing of polyamory and I was offended at first that a married man would message me. I still continued to talk to him with the hopes of at least gaining a good friend with many similar interests as myself.



Over time, our friendship began to blossom into something more. He explained how his open marriage worked and that he only wants to be with his wife and his chosen submissive. He did not want anything short-termed and intends to have a happy life with his two true loves. I began to understand him better and now his marriage status doesn't even bother me any more. With how close we've become, we are madly in love with each other. He helps me cope with my illness and he is one of the kindest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He genuinely loves me and respects me. To be honest, I feel like I am already married to him, and he actually told me he feels the same way. Having the ring doesn't really matter, just having the emotional connection and love is pretty much what matters to me.

I guess I want to get the message across that one should never give up on love, like I almost did because of my poor health. There's good people out there that will love you regardless of your health, weight, height or skin color. Just keep your heart open but keep your mind very focused on what you want out of a relationship. I wish everyone luck and I really hope that my relationship will remain amazing for many years to come.

Chaotic September and Brief Update!

Well damn...This month has been a real bitch to me so far. As you may already know if you read any of my previous stuff, I am chronically ill. As of late, I've been in and out of the hospital because I've been having some very dangerous symptoms, including trouble breathing and loss of consciousness. Of course, every time I went to the hospital or doctor, they had no idea what the Hell has been going on with me. I've spent a combined total of 6 days in the hospital and that is just for this month alone! I really hope this doesn't keep up during October, which is the month of my birthday. I tend to be ill a lot on my birthdays; this has gone on ever since I was a little girl though, so it isn't anything new.



Due to this sudden onset of dangerous symptoms, I took a brief hiatus from everything, including my Edenfantasys reviews and updating this blog. I am currently trying to rectify that little issue. I am currently working on two reviews that I should have posted sometime next week. It all really depends on my health and whether or not I am not practically brain dead from the heavy duty painkillers I have to take. My medications and my medical conditions make it very hard for me to quickly write reviews which depresses me quite often. I'd appreciate it that once I have my reviews posted, you guys will check them out. Hell, check out my older reviews! You can find them at the bottom of my blog via the widget that has my Edenfantasys.com information on it.

I decided to also include a brief update about things I am planning to do soon:

I am trying to buy a damn digital camera for my birthday. Yes, that is correct I do not own a camera at all an d I haven't owned one in years. It's so terrible, because there's lots of memories I wanted to capture, but had no camera to really do it. Plus, once I get my camera, I would like to start including images for my Edenfantasys reviews, along with interesting images for my blog. Some may not be safe for work, but we'll cross that bridge once we get there!

I also am planning on getting some piercings done! For a long time, I've wanted my nipples pierced, but due to being in a religious home and not having any outside connections, I have no way of getting it done. Not to mention, my money gets obliterated by my medical expenses. My money is also monitored by my parents, because, well, they like keep me as their little girl forever I suppose. I don't think they realize that I'm 24 going on 25 yet. With my illness, I feel more like a 60 year old woman, though...My sister agreed to take me to the tattoo and piercing shop for my birthday next month, but I will have to get a piercing that my parents won't really flip out over. (Nose piercing). I'm hoping that I will have enough money to get my nose and my nipples pierced. It would be suspicious of me to go to a piercing shop and come back with less money and no visible piercings; my parents would interrogate the Hell out of me and find out about it. I don't know how the Hell they would react to it, and it will most likely be negatively. They'd probably call me some sort of demonic slut and I may get actually hit for it...I don't know, I'm afraid to find out what would happen. Regardless, one day I will get my nipples pierced because it's something I wanted to do for a very long ass time.

I will also be writing a review on a really nice shower cap that I got from Edenfantasys.com. Look out for that review really soon!

That's pretty much all I have to say for the time being, so I hope everyone is doing much better than I am right now!