Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Struggling to Write Reviews

I've been struggling as of late to dish out my sex toy reviews. It's not that I procrastinate or that I get distracted by other things; it is solely because of my illness and the side effects of the many medicines I have to take everyday.

When I write reviews, it takes me a long time because I strive for perfection. I want to make the most informative review that I possibly can, so that I can get "extremely useful" ratings for my reviews. I take pride in my work and I want to be at 100% when I write them. When I am having a severe pain episode, which has almost been a daily thing lately, I can hardly even breathe, so writing a damn good review is out of the question. Since I am on heavy-duty painkillers (Fentanyl trans-dermal patches and Norco opiate/narcotics), I tend to have a lot of mental slow-down and drowsiness as side-effects. I've tried writing reviews while I was under the influence of my meds, but it did not turn out well...Not one bit. I didn't turn my review into my mentor at the time because it was so incoherent. My thoughts jumped from one place to another, words were horribly misspelled and I could hardly understand anything that was written. I saw the results once I was sober and cried. All I want to do is get my reviews out quickly in a timely manner but my health isn't making that possible.

I get so frustrated and jealous when I go on sometimes because writing reviews seems so easy to everyone else. They can publish multiple reviews daily or just about every other day, while it takes me damn months to get anything done correctly. Not to mention, my rank recently decreased by .1 which doesn't seem like a lot, but it meant a lot to me to earn that .1 point. I couldn't help that I was in and out of the hospital. I didn't think my rank would have dropped so damn quickly, but it did. I've become more active, but my rank still remains at 5.4. It really breaks my heart and makes me feel like a failure sometimes. I wish I could write reviews quickly and be more active, but I just can't write them now while I am still trying to recover. I've been working on some for quite some time now, but they still aren't at my standards yet.

My disability is really getting in the way of something I am passionate about doing, and it is causing me so much depression and stress. I just wish my pain would subside, so that I can focus on writing excellent reviews.

You might be thinking that since I am writing this, I could write the reviews easily, well, you are definitely wrong. Writing extremely useful reviews is not like writing about whatever the Hell you want and whatever is on your mind at the moment. You have to do proper research, get correct measurements, list ingredients, if you are reviewing a bath product, etc., and know what those ingredients truly are (whether they are vegan approved, or unhealthy for people with sensitive skin) and the list goes on. It isn't simple and it takes a lot of focusing in order to do it correctly.

All I can do is pray that my situation changes so that I can dish out reviews and get rid of the burden that has been plaguing me. If you're reading this, wish me luck, because I need a lot of it right now.

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