Friday, September 21, 2012
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Breaking News: I'm No Longer a Single Submissive!
Yes, you did read the title correctly! If you kept up with me on Edenfantasys.com, you'd notice that I would constantly bitch about being miserable, lonely and single. Well, that isn't necessarily the case right now. In fact, things are quite different for me in the relationship department.
For a few months, members of the Edenfantasys forum directed me to FetLife, a social networking site made by kinksters and for kinksters. I finally got the balls to join the site, and I immediately got messaged by lots of Doms and Masters. I'm not a slave, so I kindly declined the Masters' invitations, but one of the very first people that messaged me was a wonderful Dominant. He was very open and up-front to me. He told me he was married, has children, and is in an open polyamorous relationship. I was pretty taken aback by this. I knew nothing of polyamory and I was offended at first that a married man would message me. I still continued to talk to him with the hopes of at least gaining a good friend with many similar interests as myself.
Over time, our friendship began to blossom into something more. He explained how his open marriage worked and that he only wants to be with his wife and his chosen submissive. He did not want anything short-termed and intends to have a happy life with his two true loves. I began to understand him better and now his marriage status doesn't even bother me any more. With how close we've become, we are madly in love with each other. He helps me cope with my illness and he is one of the kindest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. He genuinely loves me and respects me. To be honest, I feel like I am already married to him, and he actually told me he feels the same way. Having the ring doesn't really matter, just having the emotional connection and love is pretty much what matters to me.
I guess I want to get the message across that one should never give up on love, like I almost did because of my poor health. There's good people out there that will love you regardless of your health, weight, height or skin color. Just keep your heart open but keep your mind very focused on what you want out of a relationship. I wish everyone luck and I really hope that my relationship will remain amazing for many years to come.
For a few months, members of the Edenfantasys forum directed me to FetLife, a social networking site made by kinksters and for kinksters. I finally got the balls to join the site, and I immediately got messaged by lots of Doms and Masters. I'm not a slave, so I kindly declined the Masters' invitations, but one of the very first people that messaged me was a wonderful Dominant. He was very open and up-front to me. He told me he was married, has children, and is in an open polyamorous relationship. I was pretty taken aback by this. I knew nothing of polyamory and I was offended at first that a married man would message me. I still continued to talk to him with the hopes of at least gaining a good friend with many similar interests as myself.
I guess I want to get the message across that one should never give up on love, like I almost did because of my poor health. There's good people out there that will love you regardless of your health, weight, height or skin color. Just keep your heart open but keep your mind very focused on what you want out of a relationship. I wish everyone luck and I really hope that my relationship will remain amazing for many years to come.
Chaotic September and Brief Update!
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Saturday, August 25, 2012
The Curious Case of LadyDarknezz: Part 1
I've decided to post about recent medical issues on this blog as well. I mean, why the Hell not? The whole disabled thing is mentioned in the title anyway.
This isn't going to be a post about my rare pancreas condition, because it would take me ages to type about it, explain it, and all that fun stuff. Instead, this is about another mystery illness that I apparently have that's affecting my kidneys.
You see, a little over a year ago, I developed a kidney infection from God knows what. This infection has been lingering until this very day. That's right, it has not yet been defeated and I've finished my eighth round of antibiotics to try and kill whatever is messing up my kidneys. (I can't even remember if it's the eighth or ninth bout; I lost count because I take a lot of medicines every damn day.) I have all the annoying symptoms of a kidney or UTI infection: frequent urge to urinate, painful urination, etc. Now, imagine having these symptoms every day for over a year! Yes, I think it is officially driving my ass nuts!
However, my symptoms are becoming more serious. Now, I have severe lethargy. I'm not talking about just being really tired, I'm talking about I can't wake up or get out of bed a lot of the time. I also have blood in my urine sometimes along with dark-fatty stools. Sometimes, I can't even urinate for at least a day, and when I finally do, it's only a couple of drops! I feel like I can't even empty my bladder, too. I know, it's gross, but it is what's going on with me right now. I've been to the doctor and E.R. over some of these symptoms but they can't pin-point what's wrong. I'm exhibiting some of the symptoms of kidney failure, yet my ultrasound showed that my kidneys looked perfectly fine.
I'm sorry that I don't have faith in the damn ultrasound, considering the fact that last September, my ultrasound missed severe endometriosis that pretty much attached a small bit of my intestines to my right ovary...Yes, that explains my long hiatus from Edenfantasys. Recovering was a real bitch along with all the other bullshit that was getting thrown at me. (Medical bills, debt, fighting for disability to mention a few.)
So now, I lie awake at 2:56 am on this here Saturday morning in pain from my pancreas condition, and this unidentifiable kidney illness, with the urge to piss but nothing comes out. Sigh...Why can't I catch a normal identifiable illness like syphilis or something?! As terrible as it sounds, at least the doctors would know what it is and how to properly treat it instead of all these mystery illnesses!
Well that's all for the time being. I have lots of weird medical conditions, so I'll post about those another time, along with any updates on this whole kidney thing. Whoever happens to read this, I sure as Hell hope your health is a million times better than my own.
 |
| Eve from The Binding of Isaac by_efrejok-d54kprt |
You see, a little over a year ago, I developed a kidney infection from God knows what. This infection has been lingering until this very day. That's right, it has not yet been defeated and I've finished my eighth round of antibiotics to try and kill whatever is messing up my kidneys. (I can't even remember if it's the eighth or ninth bout; I lost count because I take a lot of medicines every damn day.) I have all the annoying symptoms of a kidney or UTI infection: frequent urge to urinate, painful urination, etc. Now, imagine having these symptoms every day for over a year! Yes, I think it is officially driving my ass nuts!
However, my symptoms are becoming more serious. Now, I have severe lethargy. I'm not talking about just being really tired, I'm talking about I can't wake up or get out of bed a lot of the time. I also have blood in my urine sometimes along with dark-fatty stools. Sometimes, I can't even urinate for at least a day, and when I finally do, it's only a couple of drops! I feel like I can't even empty my bladder, too. I know, it's gross, but it is what's going on with me right now. I've been to the doctor and E.R. over some of these symptoms but they can't pin-point what's wrong. I'm exhibiting some of the symptoms of kidney failure, yet my ultrasound showed that my kidneys looked perfectly fine.
I'm sorry that I don't have faith in the damn ultrasound, considering the fact that last September, my ultrasound missed severe endometriosis that pretty much attached a small bit of my intestines to my right ovary...Yes, that explains my long hiatus from Edenfantasys. Recovering was a real bitch along with all the other bullshit that was getting thrown at me. (Medical bills, debt, fighting for disability to mention a few.)
So now, I lie awake at 2:56 am on this here Saturday morning in pain from my pancreas condition, and this unidentifiable kidney illness, with the urge to piss but nothing comes out. Sigh...Why can't I catch a normal identifiable illness like syphilis or something?! As terrible as it sounds, at least the doctors would know what it is and how to properly treat it instead of all these mystery illnesses!
Well that's all for the time being. I have lots of weird medical conditions, so I'll post about those another time, along with any updates on this whole kidney thing. Whoever happens to read this, I sure as Hell hope your health is a million times better than my own.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Reviews!
I'll be gradually adding my current and future Edenfantasys.com reviews to this here blog! Keep an eye out for them!
Saturday, August 18, 2012
And So It Begins...
Today, I've finally decided to make a blog. It's strange, because this is something that I thought I would have done much sooner. I am pretty isolated, due to my lame ass medical condition, but I still have the need to vent and comment about stuff that is going on in the world. Also, I am pretty long winded, so I tend to talk (or in this case write) a lot about whatever topic I'm focused on at the moment.
Basically, I'm still figuring out what I want to do with this blog. I was going to make it my depressing bitch and moan site full of rants about my condition and daily life, but I've decided to keep that sort of thing to a minimum. Instead, I want this site to be dedicated to the positive things I've learned about myself thanks to my health condition.
For instance, I've already known that I was into the more kinkier things when it came to sex, but I pretty much repressed it because I was told it was wrong for many years. The first person I told was my terrible prick of an ex-boyfriend who played along with it for a while, before he started lecturing me about being a sexual deviant, just because I like spankings, being tied up and being commanded, etc. I haven't even bothered telling my relatives about my lifestyle choice, because they are the least understanding people that I know, especially my parents...The very people I am stuck living with because my condition caused me to lose everything I worked hard to obtain on my own, which consisted of a nice apartment, car, job, and my final year of college; it has all been taken away from me.
You might be thinking, "Lady D, what kind of positivity can come from having your life flipped upside down suddenly?" Well, the answer is quite simple, you wonderful random blog-viewer you; it gave me plenty of time to think. I am constantly thinking about the things I've never had the time to think about, such as what I want out of life, and how I'm going to obtain it now. The answers to those questions have become so much simpler now that I'm ill; I want love, great mind-blowing orgasms, kinky sex with a loving Dominant, and life. I want to live, and that's exactly what I've decided to do now. Even though I'm stuck in my bedroom for 90% of the time, I make the best out of it. I make myself feel sexy, have long masturbation sessions and converse with like minded individuals on EdenFantasys and FetLife; the two websites that changed my life for the better. I'll be talking about those place frequently in later posts, but for now, I think I should try and take my sweet little ass sleep. Toodles for now, ya'll!
Basically, I'm still figuring out what I want to do with this blog. I was going to make it my depressing bitch and moan site full of rants about my condition and daily life, but I've decided to keep that sort of thing to a minimum. Instead, I want this site to be dedicated to the positive things I've learned about myself thanks to my health condition.
For instance, I've already known that I was into the more kinkier things when it came to sex, but I pretty much repressed it because I was told it was wrong for many years. The first person I told was my terrible prick of an ex-boyfriend who played along with it for a while, before he started lecturing me about being a sexual deviant, just because I like spankings, being tied up and being commanded, etc. I haven't even bothered telling my relatives about my lifestyle choice, because they are the least understanding people that I know, especially my parents...The very people I am stuck living with because my condition caused me to lose everything I worked hard to obtain on my own, which consisted of a nice apartment, car, job, and my final year of college; it has all been taken away from me.
You might be thinking, "Lady D, what kind of positivity can come from having your life flipped upside down suddenly?" Well, the answer is quite simple, you wonderful random blog-viewer you; it gave me plenty of time to think. I am constantly thinking about the things I've never had the time to think about, such as what I want out of life, and how I'm going to obtain it now. The answers to those questions have become so much simpler now that I'm ill; I want love, great mind-blowing orgasms, kinky sex with a loving Dominant, and life. I want to live, and that's exactly what I've decided to do now. Even though I'm stuck in my bedroom for 90% of the time, I make the best out of it. I make myself feel sexy, have long masturbation sessions and converse with like minded individuals on EdenFantasys and FetLife; the two websites that changed my life for the better. I'll be talking about those place frequently in later posts, but for now, I think I should try and take my sweet little ass sleep. Toodles for now, ya'll!
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